Fielding talks with Thomas Rate Hoda Kotbay about the ‘really intense question’
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Thomas Ratt is opening up about some of the challenging questions raised by his daughter about adoption.
This week, country star Hoda Kotb is on the new episode of the podcast “Making Space”, and go on to talk about their experiences with the two adopted children.
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Rhett’s wife, Lauren Rhett, adopted their daughter, Villa Gray, from Uganda, before welcoming their second daughter, Ada James, into the world. They have two more daughters, Lennon Love and Lily.
“Is Willa Gray asking questions or are your other girls asking?” Kotab asked. “And how did you navigate that? Because I got two kids from different countries and you know, for sure, there are questions.”
“Yeah, it’s hard, you know,” Rhett said. “Because when you think you’re a parent you think, ‘Well, I’m a dad. I have all the answers.’ You know what? “
Rhett added that adoption is “the most beautiful thing in the world”, but parents who adopt often do not consider the questions that their children need to field when they reach a certain age.
“Really intense question, you know?” He said. “I don’t know if you’ve felt it at all, but it’s kind of like, ‘Well, what’s the age? Which age is the right age?’
The musician further explained that he was “old school” and not sure if 6-year-old was the right age to start talking about these issues.
“Maybe we’ll have to wait until we’re 10, you know what I’m talking about?” He said. “But he always has questions. “When will we see my friends in Uganda?” He asked. And then Ada would be like James, ‘When can I go see our friends in Uganda?’ And Willie Gray would be like, “Well, they’re not your friends, they’re my friends.”
Adding that she feels at this age that her children “have not yet been stigmatized by the world,” Rat was surprised, “Well, how can I keep this innocence alive as long as possible?”
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“Kids are fun, even about everything,” Kotob told him, referring to his experiences with his own adopted children. “Even Halio will hold my skin on hers. ‘Am I blacker than you, mother? What about hopey? Is he blacker than I am? ‘
Although he said his family tried to “joke about it”, he noted, “but you want to save where they came from.” So they remember, because I think you don’t know your identity, how do you live your life? “
“You have to figure out a way to navigate,” Kotab added.
Rhett also revealed that he and his wife are currently considering adopting another child.
“Lauren’s whole dream, she wanted to have five kids,” he said. “Ever since we got married, she’s been saying, ‘I want to do five,’ and I’m sitting there, ‘Okay, you know, that would be great.'”
She explains that considering her children are at different stages of life, they want to determine how things should move so that they can spend enough time with each child.
“So I told Lauren, ‘Let’s do five, but let’s take a deep breath for four years,'” he said.
“Yes, that’s right,” Kotab told him. “She’ll finally get her five.”
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